Meet The Team

Best wishes to the groom-to-be as he prepares for his wedding! It's wonderful to see him enjoying his final days of bachelorhood with his closest friends. We hope this stag do is unforgettable and wish him all the best in his future with his partner.

Meet Seamen – a remarkable man who’s served his country with honour and grit as a former Royal Marine. Beneath the tough exterior lies a love for all things fabulously camp. A true character, he leads his rugby team as a proud captain, inspires students as a PE teacher, and has even taken on the ultimate challenge by competing on Ninja Warrior.

Meet SAS – our resident kickboxing god and the only reservist on the team. He balances his commitment to serving his country with a fierce passion for martial arts. Just a word of advice: don’t mess with him!

Meet Swampy – a self-proclaimed recovering alcoholic with a legendary inability to hold his drink. Back in his wild days, it wasn’t a proper night out without him getting plastered and, well… occasionally wetting the bed. These days he’s taken the sober route (some say boring, he says mature), but we still love him for his honesty, charm, and the chaos he used to bring. A true character, through and through.

Meet Jehovah – the man who turns every chat into a full-blown sermon. Once he gets going, there’s no escape, so cancel your plans and settle in. Thinking of becoming a Jehovah’s Witness or just need your ears talked off until you fall asleep? He’s your guy.

As the best man, I can confidently say my mate has outdone himself — this stag do is nothing short of legendary. From start to finish, it’s been planned to perfection, complete with its own website! Buckle up, lads — you’re in for one hell of a ride. Let’s party like never before!

Alopecia is the kind of teammate who has a habit of vanishing now and then — but when he’s around, he’s the life of the party. Always quick with a joke and even quicker to convince someone to leap off a shed into a paddling pool, you can count on him to bring the chaos and the laughs in equal measure.

Nipples follows in his dad’s footsteps when it comes to kickboxing – but let’s just say the same can’t be said for his skills with the ladies. Portugal, consider yourselves warned: we’re bringing this young weapon your way. Oh, and a heads-up… he’s got a thing for having his nipples played with. You’ve seen the final boss of Ibiza – now meet the final boss of Albufeira.

Meet Funsized – the team’s resident short king with a personality far too big for his body. Loud, proud, and always up for a laugh, he’s got a fiery streak and isn’t shy about telling you just how incredible his wife’s ass is. If you’re looking for chaos in a compact package, Funsized is your guy.